he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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