Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Still dying that you shit outside
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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