covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
