Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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