i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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