i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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