everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
