your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day