I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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