dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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