just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Everything about him screamed your future.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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