Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
