i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.