Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's official drugs can't kill me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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