Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16