Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"