good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?