I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
be right there i have to get my cape
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?