i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.