i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
