I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
