maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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