I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize