coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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