Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
