Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize