I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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