So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
