I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
