Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
