so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
