Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize