its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
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She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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