I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize