WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
smell my finger.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
