If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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