he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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