she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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