Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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  (845): i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart http://tfl.nu/aabo
  Replies (50) Good night (3255) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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  (727): I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/n38l
  Replies (30) Good night (636) Bad night (6387) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4025) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.

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  (302): he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex. http://tfl.nu/7jw4
  Replies (6) Good night (3763) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.

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  (954): We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver. http://tfl.nu/zvig
  Replies (16) Good night (3959) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday

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  (850): it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday http://tfl.nu/fl8q
  Replies (2) Good night (3051) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?

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  (732): WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"? http://tfl.nu/186c
  Replies (4) Good night (1503) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

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  (563): Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience. http://tfl.nu/j0u8
  Replies (6) Good night (3248) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches

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  (828): i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches http://tfl.nu/n6i5
  Replies (4) Good night (1888) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....

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  (630): It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so.... http://tfl.nu/umr8
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?

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  (615): When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/p92h
  Replies (17) Good night (2510) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.

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  (306): I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/odbf
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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  (303): You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories. http://tfl.nu/6f6h
  Replies (15) Good night (1579) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.

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  (940): Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected. http://tfl.nu/ylps
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

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  (520): Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago? http://tfl.nu/8k0d
  Replies (8) Good night (930) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt

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