Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.