i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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