Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He passed out mid-signature
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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