Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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