you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.