party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
