normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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