i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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