I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
