Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Pants are for mortals
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