That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
