It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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