This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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