Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
