: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?