Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"