I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...