I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.