She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
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Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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